It’s episode three, and the gloves are coming off. We were riding high last episode, but everything that goes up must come down. We had a deeply unappetizing quick fire, and barely anyone met the brief for the elimination challenge. The judges are fed slop and are mad about it. Jennifer has fallen out of a tree prior to filming and now has to compete with an injury. It’s a flop-fest for the ages, and I’m living.

Quick Fire

• “You poor thing.” – She is not a wounded animal, Justin. Have some freaking empathy for your wife.
• Shout out to Rhoda killing it 👏👏👏
• These brothers are gay af. Hiding their cooking show like it’s some sort of deep rooted shame. I don’t care if they have wives, we know the truth.
• Livermush? Really? Talk about an unappetizing challenge. And I wouldn’t call it “iconic”; I’ve never heard of it.
• One of my favorite moments from this episode is Emeril Lagousky being shocked at how much money the winner of the Quick Fire will win lol He’s been on Top Chef since 2009, so he knows how much previous winners walked home with 😆
• SCRAPPLE?!? That’s not real. You cannot convince me that’s real.
• NO, NOT JENNIFER 😩😩😩
• Justin is totally unbothered by his wife’s condition. He is continuing to cook unperturbed.
• Why is there a monopoly on wins this season? Laurence winning both quick fires are Rhoda winning both elimination challenges?

• If you ate a “liver spread” growing up, I think that qualifies as child abuse.
• “I hope you all de-liver!” – That was a weak-ass pun. Up your pun game, people.
• Nana is failing again. 🤦‍♂️
• “I got stuff on the plate 😃” – Never change, Nana. Never change.
• What is everyone laughing at? There was no joke.
• At least Laurence’s reign of terror is over for the Quick Fire.

Elimination Challenge

• Edible garment challenge when???
• I love a competitor that immediately chooses to ignore the brief and do something else. That always works out for them, definitely.
• I actually love this challenge! It’s like if Instagram food had to taste good.
• My poor Jennifer ☹️
• Justin seems annoyed that his injured wife is calling him, and it’s up to the other contestants to fill her in on what the challenge is. Are we sure he even likes his wife???
• “Psychedelic ceviche. We’re going acid trip.” – More drugs. This season is obsessed with drugs.
• Nana? Not good with time management skills? Say it isn’t so.
• I love Oscar’s minigame at the checkout register! I feel like it should be integrated into the show somehow.
• Justin was bad at school? No wonder he’s dumb af
• Black pork? There’s a reason nobody has ever heard of that.
• Whole Foods does not sell chlorophyll. Where is he getting these potions and tinctures?
• None of the jokes this episode are funny. If the chefs are this unfunny we should just edit it all out at this point.
• BAO-GATE 🚨🚨🚨
• What is activated charcoal? Which begs the question, what is unactivated charcoal? How does one activate charcoal?
• We all know Jennifer’s dough is not going to rise tomorrow.
• Matching pajamas? Face masks? Mean Girls.
• He’s finger painting
• STUFFING-GATE 🚨🚨🚨
• Love Brittany ❤️
• Why is there so much grunting this episode?!?
• Nana & cooking everything twice; name a more iconic duo. I’ll wait.
• “Take your time. Food is good.” – Girl you don’t have time, that’s your problem!
• CHINESE ROCK BAND?!?!?!? Badass alert. 🚨🚨🚨
• SABOTAGE?!?
• oh no, nana :/
• She only gets so many changes, though.
• “She stresses me out” –Aaron
• “It’s not the first time. 😐” – Ouch.
• Brandon is trying his best to salvage the situation, but what is there to really say when the chef puts themself into this position over and over and over again.
• That pork looks shat upon
• That mole looks beautiful 😍
• “Hopefully it’s edible” – I’ll take “Things You Shouldn’t Say to the Judges When Presenting Your Dish” for 600, Alex.
• Isn’t mole something you eat with something else? Like a tortilla or something? It looks like they have to eat it like a soup, which doesn’t sound appealing.
• If Nana gets a free pass because Jennifer has to leave the competition due to her injury, I’m gonna freak out. Not like a cute little freak out, like FREAK. OUT.
• The color lady is correct, unfortunately.
• I demand Jennifer come back for another season.
• “This is my cochinita pork” – What did he just call me?
• “Bao. Bao bao bao. Bao bao bao. Bao bao.” – …what.
• Oh, I suppose the chlorophyll may have been provided to the contestants for this particular challenge. That makes sense.
• That is a beautiful scallop.
• COLOR-GATE 🚨🚨🚨
• “That thing is white as white can be” – Wow, they’re talking about me 🤩
• “Very hot! And I’m not talking about the pot!” – Heck yes, Sherry can GET IT!
• What the actual heck, is that a pot of bloody fingers?!?
• “It looks like an ice cream sandwich and puked up code slaw.” –Aaron (And I can’t disagree with him)
• “Lamb and clams” needs to die a horrific death. It’s like if Surf ‘n’ turf had an uglier, stupider sister.
• She KISSED it on the grill?!? Is that sanitary?!?!?
• “Every single thing tasted really good.” – Did it though?
• Last week everyone did so well, and this week everyone is flopping. Like, MAJOR flop-ageddon.
• “Don’t say that please” 😬
• OVERTHINKING-GATE 🚨🚨🚨
• oh no, Tom is getting grumpy ☹️
• What on earth was Oscar’s movie reference? That made literally no sense.
• “Rhoda’s dish looks like an oil spill” –Aaron
• “That might be the least colorful ceviche I’ve ever seen in my life” – Savage. Accurate, but savage.
• “Gray parsnip” is my new favorite insult.
• The judges want blood, and I want to see them have it.
• Laurence has to stop winning. Somebody stop him.
• They want to talk to EVERYONE ELSE?!? Hot diggity.
• Eliminate them all.
• It was flaccid.
• NANA HAS DIED
• That was abrupt.
• She’s going to fail miserably in Last Chance Kitchen. She can’t time anything, and that’s a major component of LCK.

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